A Scar on the Soul: Child Sexual Abuse in India
She
sits alone and cries her heart out, not knowing what to do. Questions were in
vain for all she would say would be, “leave me alone”. Ever since I have known
her, I have always seen a melancholic streak in her. Life has brought her to a
cross roads wherein she needs to put forth decision about one of the most
important issues of anyone’s life- MARRIAGE. It is a difficult situation; I
understood later when she revealed to me what was holding her back. Shattering
her silence, she voiced out the entire trauma she has been through, leaving me
shocked. What I heard was a Survivor’s tale – agonising tale of being
repeatedly abused sexually by her cousin, apparently when she was just six
years old.
Child
sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent
uses a child for sexual stimulation. From time immemorial, it has been a
subject that did not receive attention. Most of us are under the misconception
that Child Sexual Abuse is not so much prevalent in India because ours is a
collectivistic society and a society that is family oriented. However, it is shocking
to know that a 2007 study conducted by the Ministry of Women and Child
Development states that the prevalence rate is 53.22% of which 52.94%
are boys and 47.06% are girls.
Highest numbers of cases of child sexual abuse are reported from the states of
Andhra Pradesh, Bihar, Assam and Delhi, as per the report of the Study.
Statistics reveal that more than 50% of the children go through the trauma and
that too, at the hands of a trusted family member.
How do we know when children have
been abused? Some children make direct statements, while others are more
indirect in their way of communicating. Some children show the effects of their
abuse through behaviors, which can be sexualized, but not necessarily. They may
show great stress at separating from a parent figure, where there was no stress
before, symptoms of bed wetting or passing bowel movements in their pants. They
have trouble sleeping, have night mares, and refuse to sleep alone and may also
be withdrawn, moody, aggressive, restless, and anxious. They could become
disruptive and aggressive toward others in different social settings.
Activities that used to interest them may no longer be pursued.
So when more than half of the
children experience trauma, how could we turn blind eye to it? We can begin at home
by teaching our children about good and bad touch and how we could encourage
them to trust us, elders.
Good
Touch means a touch
where you feel good to be hugged and kissed by the people you love. For
example: When Parents or grandparents give you a hug and kiss.
Bad Touch
means a touch
that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is a touch which can hurt you or make you
feel scared and nervous and is forced upon you. Don't feel that you are bad.
Whoever gives you a bad touch is the one who is bad, not you. Your body belongs
to you. Nobody can touch you if you don't want to be touched. If someone
touches you inappropriately, tell someone you trust what has happened. Don't
let threats scare you into running away or keeping quiet.
If elders do not deal with the early
signs of trauma, when a child reports to them, the trauma-related behaviour may
become part of long-term problems. Children who have been through the trauma
and who have not been helped to manage the effects of trauma may later in life be diagnosed with a variety of other
disorders, such as conduct problems, social phobias, anxiety, psychosomatic
disorders, depression, suicidal thinking and behaviors. They develop low self
esteem and feel guilty throughout life. It leaves a deep emotional scar in
children.
Yes! Child Sexual Abuse is indeed a
Scar on the soul...a non erasable one. As mentioned earlier, it hangs around like
a ghost. Wonder what decision my friend has come to, regarding her marriage.
There are many more people like my friend who are suffering in silence and find
no way out of it. Prevention is anytime better than cure. Hence the need of the
hour is to strengthen children to recognise and react appropriately and bring
out better awareness among parents and also bring about better laws to curtail
this menace. The onus is on all of us to create a more safe and secure
environment for generations to come.
Albert Einstein once said, “The world is a dangerous place to live, not
because of the people who are evil but because of the people who do not do
anything about it.”
